For me pride exists in my physical traits, the genetics of my ancestors and being born taller and stronger than the average person. I perticularly notice the enforcement of pride when I see a guy that is taller than me or in better shape with bigger muscles. Within my is this conflict nature that says, "i can take him" "im still better than him" as though i am now in some kind of contest with this other individual. Also when there are guys just a little smaller than me, i have noticed this enforcment of pride where i say things like "haha im taller" or "haha im got more mucsles than you" and ever when there are guys of equal size, i raise my chest, pick my chin up just a little bit more and follow with genaraly the same statements within all of which in force this sense of pride.
A couple years ago, i started planting a seed in me that whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine. So when i heard a buddy say, "luc your fucking huge man, you look good" i would reply, " whats mine is yours" so if ever you need extra reach to grab somthing just let me know and ill assist, and like wize. Like my buddy was small and nible and maybe i would need a smaller man to retreave somthing in a small area, well, shabam! enforcing not just pride anymore but the ideas of equality and how we can effectivly come to an understanding that doesnt make one of us better then the other. Recently i have noticed that this seed had grown where i dont compare with other guys because i realize that we are all unique in our physical abilities hense all have somthing to offer. not nesaccarily physical too, i mean my buddy might need his home repaired and i might need my taxs filed inwitch both of us have capabilities we both need but dont have unless through eachother. Pretty cool realization about pride because it is through that that pride can be real, where one doesnt have pride in just their abilities but the abilities of everyone in our direct realtionships.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting pride in my hidden mind to hold an abusive starting point about MY pride in MY genetic dispostion and i commit myself to realize that real pride can only exist through everyone standing together in creating a life that is more benificial to all and not just some.
I forgive myself for allowing ajd accepting myself to raise my chest or lift my chin in pride to compeat with another being instead of seeing that other being as my equal. I commit myself to breathe through the experiance of compitition through pride and establish what i have realized, that we are all of value as life and no one is better in any way shape or form. We are equal and that is that.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look down at others through my physical pride as being stronger or bigger and there for creating seperation with genetic dipsition as though i choose to be big and that man choose to be small lol, taking pride in things that were out of both of our controle and useing it in an abusive way to make myself feel better about myself through pride. I commit myself to never again allow myself to see another as less than me because of size or anything for that matter and to breathe through any reactions where i see myself doing this, i realize that this will assist me in my starting point of creating real relationships in my world that are not based in fairy shit and instead actual physical support of one another. Cheers.
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